Wednesday,+July+22

=Wednesday, July 22=

 Newswriting 101
Writing Tips

__Rewriting a Script from NY Local television news__ On Tuesday night two Jersey City officers were injured during an altercation that ended with a woman who allegedly attacked them with a knife being gunned down. //(This report ran during the 11pm news on a Tuesday. The purpose of the "Tuesday night" reference// //is probably so that the same story can run during the Wednesday morning newscast. But most important, this first sentence is awkward since it was probably not the "knife being gunned down" as suggested.) //

It's the same department that just lost another officer in a shootout. //("It's" is vague. Unclear to what "It's" is referring) //

Neighbors said inside the second floor apartment the television had been blaring all day but some sort of fight //(it was either a fight or not a fight, not "some sort of fight") // started Tuesday night. A heavy set //("heavy set" is subjective and not relevant)// woman who lives in apartment 2C allegedly came to the door with a knife when police arrived around 9:15 p.m. Police said she lunged and stabbed one of the officers.

A neighbor described to * (news team name) what the incident sounded like.

"I heard screaming … boom, boom, boom," Bella Cortland said.

The woman and both officers were taken away by ambulance and Jersey City residents //(all of them?)// stood and watched, beginning to worry about what seems to be a deepening spiral of violence //(a "deepening spiral of violence" is subjective and apparently based on the opinion of one resident, not to mention sensational) .//

"I have kids. I've been here 20 years and this is the worst year yet," resident Grisselle Negron said.

Please stay with* and *.com for more on this developing story.

Blog Response - respond to the Bruce Hall letter on media bias
[|Stop the presses blog]